Divorcing a Narcissist

Even when you and your spouse can amicably settle all issues in divorce, the process is never easy.  An uncontested divorce with all of the issues settled is the best possible scenario, but can only happen when you and your spouse work together.  Unfortunately, this does not always happen.  Especially when one spouse is particularly violent or difficult, reaching a settlement or even just moving forward to a final hearing can be very difficult.  If your spouse is a narcissist, chances are your divorce could become even more complicated.

First, understand that narcissists see themselves as the victim in any situation, even if that is a completely distorted view of reality.  A narcissist is very likely to want the judge to specifically rule that he or she is “right” and the other spouse is totally wrong.  As a result, narcissists are more likely to be litigious, as they want to get in front of a judge and tell their story.

You also need to understand that narcissists need to feel in control.  To that end, they will want to pressure you into settling or capitulating on issues that the narcissist knows are important to you.  They are also likely to file unnecessary motions to try to paint you in the worst possible light, knowing that this will continue to exert control over you both emotionally through the stress of court and physically through forcing you to appear to court dates.

Narcissists are more likely to refuse to negotiate or settle, and will likely attempt to run up your attorney bills as much as possible.  When divorcing a narcissist, they are likely to refuse to settle on middle ground.  It is not unlikely that they will continue to dig into their position, even if the circumstances have changed.

There are some techniques you can use to help lessen the emotional toll of dealing with a narcissist in divorce.  First, make sure you tell your attorney.  He or she is likely familiar with how these types of cases go and will have techniques to deal with your spouse’s bad behavior.  Next, you need to start keeping records and copies of everything.  Meticulous documentation an often take the wind out of a narcissist’s argument by proving they are manipulating the facts.  Finally, although it may be difficult to keep your cool, getting angry will often just play into the narcissist’s hands. Do your best to remain calm.

We have helped many clients with divorces involving a difficult opponent.  Call us today for a consultation.

Are you interested in seeking an annulment? If so, contact Williams Law Group, LLC right away. Our family law attorneys will review your case to determine if an annulment is an option. If it is, we will guide you through the process and ensure you make the best decisions for your future. Call our office at (908) 738-8512, email us atinfo@awilliamslawgroup.com, or contact us through our confidential online form to schedule a consultation

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