Parental alienation obviously doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Financial, emotional or personal stresses can lead to bad behavior from everyone involved and create negative feedback loops.
For instance, let’s say that you’ve been weakened and fatigued from Type 2 diabetes and blood sugar issues. Thanks to your ill health, you might be prone to make more intemperate remarks or engage lazy behavior around your children, which could in turn lead to false accusations of abuse or neglect, as the other parent and/or the child observes those less than ideal behaviors and blows them out of proportion.
Likewise, when we are not in good shape – when we’re tired, worried about debt or struggling with depression or anxiety – we tend to be less capable of strategically dealing with the problems on our plate. Instead of calling a therapist or an attorney after an infuriating email from the instigating parent, for instance, you might make matters worse by writing an unhinged email.
Part of surviving this process and stopping the downward spiral involves paying attention to what is going on in your life and getting help to deal with what’s happening. Accept that you’re in a stressful situation, and find people to help you manage it.
Even if you have your own health, finances and psychology in good order, the other parent’s problems or the child’s problems can redound to create a more complex legal situation. For instance, perhaps the other parent didn’t work during your marriage, and now he or she is struggling, financially and career-wise. That stress over money may be a principle driver of the alienating behavior. The other parent may desperately need control over life and may be manipulating the child just to exert autonomy.
Alternatively, perhaps your child needs special medical care to manage a disease, like Type I diabetes, a scary food allergy, or a neurological or developmental issue, like autism. The child’s problems – and the extra pressure they create on both parents, logistically, psychologically and financially – can in turn ratchet up everyone’s impulsiveness, anger and desperation.
Appreciate that you only have limited control over what the other parent and the child do and that you cannot solve everyone’s problems. Reflect on the following wisdom from author, Steven Covey, from his bestselling book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
“Instead of reacting to or worrying about conditions over which they have little or no control, proactive people focus their time and energy on things they can control. The problems, challenges, and opportunities we face fall into two areas–Circle of Concern and Circle of Influence.
Proactive people focus their efforts on their Circle of Influence. They work on the things they can do something about: health, children, problems at work. Reactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Concern–things over which they have little or no control: the national debt, terrorism, the weather. Gaining an awareness of the areas in which we expend our energies in is a giant step in becoming proactive.”
For skillful, experienced assistance handling your Parental Alienation case, call the Williams Law Group, LLC immediately at (908) 738-8404.