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As we discussed earlier, psychologists generally recognize three “classes” of alienators. The most challenging type of parent is known as the obsessed alienator. Typically, the parent views his or her quest in moral, absolute terms, invests tremendous energy into the manipulation of the child, recruits others (such as relatives, friends or even credulous therapists) into…

As the target of unacceptable behavior, the targeted parent may feel helpless, frustrated and depressed. However, in addition to addressing these feelings and the needs underlying them, the targeted parent has another, more selfless reason to find a resolution to the issue. Alienation can have devastating long term effects on the child himself or herself.…

Scholars and practitioners recommend the following principles for resolving alienation: • Document what happens, and pay attention to people’s actions. Writing down comments, behaviors and reactions from family members – as well as strategies tried to stop or unwind the damage – can be quite useful. An objective record of what has happened can help…

This can depend on a constellation of factors, such as: • How long has the alienation been happening? • Does the alienating parent acknowledge that he or she has been doing something wrong? Does that parent want to change? • How severe has the alienation been? • How has the child’s behavior or disposition changed…

Parental Alienation How, exactly, should a family repair itself after the trauma of alienation? In previous posts, we discussed Dr. Richard Warshak’s Family Bridges program, which is designed to help families reconcile after severe parental alienation. Different scholars and practitioners who focus in this area have developed other solutions, however, often based on conflicting philosophies.…

As someone who has been victimized by alienating behavior – or who believes that you’ve been victimized – you may find it very challenging to conjure empathy for the other parent. After all, this person is (you believe) trying to destroy your relationship with your child! However, you may find empathy to be a very…

Given the damage that Parental Alienation causes not just the children caught in the middle and the targeted parents but also the alienating parents themselves, why would anyone engage in this strategy? Here are six reasons that clinicians have observed: 1. The parent develops inaccurate beliefs about key family relationships. For instance, maybe while you…

Dr. Richard Gardner, who’s largely credited for bringing Parental Alienation to the attention of the legal and psychological community, cataloged alienating behavior in three ways. 1. Positive reinforcement This strategy involves rewarding the child’s behavior, words or actions when the child “goes along” with the alienation. For instance, let’s say the child says something to…

Fortunately, most cases of parental alienation are not so severe that the damage cannot be unwound through skilled, timely therapeutic intervention. However, in special cases – in which alienators are particularly relentless or egregious, or where the child is uniquely susceptible to the brainwashing – more formally structured assistance may be needed. Dr. Richard Warshak…

Children are far more resilient than many parents realize. For instance, children caught in a divorce can experience temporary setbacks at school, loss of motivation, depression and anxiety. However, these symptoms generally go away on their own, and most children of divorce rebound afterwards to exhibit similar levels of motivation, happiness and responsibility to those…