Divorce Mediation Checklist

What to Prepare Before Starting Divorce Mediation in New Jersey

Mediation can be a highly effective way to resolve your divorce, but only if you come prepared. The more organized and focused you are going into the process, the more likely you are to reach a fair agreement without unnecessary delays or costs.

Whether you’re working with a neutral mediator or bringing a mediation attorney to the table, this divorce mediation checklist will help you get ready for each step. At Williams Law Group, LLC, we guide clients through mediation with a clear plan and practical support so they feel confident and in control from day one.

Before You Begin: Understand the Mediation Process

Mediation is a collaborative process where both spouses work with a neutral third party (the mediator) to resolve legal issues related to divorce. The mediator doesn’t represent either party or make decisions for you. Instead, they help guide the conversation toward compromise and agreement.

Common issues addressed in mediation include:

• Division of assets and debts
• Child custody and parenting time
• Spousal support (alimony)
• Child support
• Post-divorce modifications (if applicable)

Unlike litigation, mediation puts the power in your hands. But that also means you must take responsibility for being informed and prepared.

Step 1: Organize Your Financial Documents

One of the most important parts of divorce mediation is full financial transparency. You can’t divide assets or discuss support without knowing what’s on the table.

Start gathering the following documents:

• Bank statements (checking, savings, money market)
• Retirement accounts (401(k), IRA, pensions)
• Pay stubs and W-2s
• Tax returns (last 2–3 years)
• Credit card statements
• Mortgage and loan documents
• Investment account statements
• Business ownership records (if applicable)
• Life insurance policies
• Property titles or appraisals
• Vehicle loan and lease information

Make copies of everything, and be prepared to share them during the process. Hiding or withholding financial information can derail mediation and harm your credibility.

Step 2: List Your Assets and Debts

Create a written list of:

• All marital and non-marital assets (home, cars, accounts, valuables)
• All debts (mortgage, credit cards, student loans, medical bills)
• Monthly bills and household expenses

Include account balances, account numbers, and whose name is on each account. This will serve as a working document for you, your spouse, and your mediator.

Step 3: Identify Your Priorities and Dealbreakers

Successful mediation requires compromise, but that doesn’t mean giving up what matters most. Before your first session, take time to clarify:

• What are your top priorities? (e.g., staying in the home, joint custody, keeping retirement accounts intact)
• What are you willing to negotiate?
• What are your non-negotiables?
• What outcomes would feel fair to you?

You don’t need to have all the answers, but knowing your goals in advance will help you stay focused.

Step 4: Prepare for Parenting Discussions

If you have children, parenting decisions will be a major part of your mediation.

Gather information such as:

• School and daycare schedules
• Extracurricular activity calendars
• Work and travel schedules for both parents
• Holiday traditions or vacation plans
• Medical and educational needs

Think about what kind of parenting time schedule would work best for your family. Consider:

• Weekday vs. weekend time
• Holiday and summer break arrangements
• Transportation and drop-off routines
• Decision-making responsibilities (education, healthcare, religion)

Being prepared to discuss these issues will make your mediation more efficient and child-focused.

Step 5: Plan for Future Living Arrangements

You may need to make temporary or long-term decisions about where each spouse will live after separation. Before mediation:

• Research rental options or housing costs if you plan to move
• Estimate the cost of maintaining the marital home
• Consider whether selling the home is necessary or realistic
• Evaluate whether either spouse can buy out the other’s interest

These practical considerations often shape the financial and emotional outcomes of divorce, so it’s helpful to enter mediation with a clear picture of your options.

Step 6: Understand New Jersey Divorce Laws

While your mediator won’t provide legal advice, it’s important to have a general understanding of how New Jersey handles:

• Equitable distribution of assets and debts
• Alimony and spousal support
• Child support guidelines
• Custody and parenting time

Speaking with a mediation attorney before or during mediation can help you make informed decisions that protect your rights and long-term interests.

Step 7: Choose the Right Mediator

Not all mediators are the same. Look for someone with:

• Training in family law mediation
• Experience handling cases similar to yours
• A calm, structured communication style
• A clear, written fee agreement

At Williams Law Group, LLC, Sara Kucsan and LaDonna Cousins provide neutral mediation services grounded in years of New Jersey family law experience. Whether you're facing financial disputes, custody questions, or high-conflict separation, Sara and LaDonna create a space where productive conversations can take place.

Step 8: Set Realistic Expectations

Mediation won’t solve everything in one session, and it’s not always easy. But it is worth it.

Set yourself up for success by:

• Being honest and transparent
• Staying open to compromise
• Listening actively, even when it’s difficult
• Taking breaks when needed
• Bringing your concerns to the mediator calmly

If things get stuck, that doesn’t mean mediation has failed. Many couples reach agreement over time, with persistence and support.

Bonus: Questions to Ask Yourself Before Mediation

Use these questions to check your mindset before your first session:

• Am I willing to listen to my spouse’s point of view, even if I disagree?
• Do I understand my financial picture and my legal options?
• Have I thought through what my life will look like after the divorce?
• Am I emotionally ready to focus on solutions rather than blame?
• Do I have legal or emotional support available if things get tough?

If you can answer yes to most of these, you’re in a strong position to make the most of mediation.

Final Checklist Summary

Here’s a quick summary of what to bring and prepare:

• Financial Documents
• Bank, credit, loan, retirement, and tax records
• Asset and Debt Lists
• Clear breakdowns with ownership and balances
• Parenting Info
• Schedules, calendars, and proposed plans
• Living Arrangements
• Housing options and cost estimates
• Legal Preparation
• General knowledge of NJ divorce laws
• Optional attorney consultation
• Personal Readiness
• Clarity on goals, flexibility, and willingness to compromise
• Mediator Selection
• Choose a trained, neutral professional with relevant experience

Ready to Start Mediation?

Mediation is one of the most effective tools for reaching a fair, thoughtful divorce agreement, but only when you’re prepared. With the right documents, mindset, and mediator, you can move through the process with more control and less conflict.

At Williams Law Group, LLC, we’re here to guide you every step of the way. Whether you need a third-party mediator or a trusted family law attorney to represent you during mediation, our team has the experience and compassion to help.

Contact us today to schedule a consultation or learn more about how to prepare for divorce mediation in New Jersey.

“They gave detailed explanation of the process. They gave support and comfort in a very scary situation. They helped me remain calm.” – Wendy C., ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐