What Kind of Divorcing Couple Are You and Why It Matters

Divorce can bring out the worst in people. It can also change who they are as individuals and as a former couple. While there is no way to predict how and when your divorce will change you, knowing what kind of divorcing couple you are—that is, what mindset you are both in—can help you bypass conflict to find divorce solutions that work for your unique family. Knowing how to leverage your strengths and mitigate your weaknesses can help you divorce more amicably and co-parent more effectively.

Divorcing Couple? Know Your Type; Avoid Pitfalls

Divorcing couples don’t fall into neat little categories. Every divorce is different and is impacted by various factors. But there are some general types of divorcing couples you may identify with, including:

The Revengers

Many couples fall into the trap of trying to seek revenge in the form of monopolizing parenting time or a ruthless divorce settlement. They often burn through their savings accounts—and their sanity—for the sake of getting even. While many couples make this detrimental mistake, simply learning about the pitfalls of such a mentality can help you avoid this path. In the end, windfall divorce judgments are rare and expensive. It’s far better to strike a balance between what you want and what you are willing to part with. Work through your need for revenge in therapy.

The Mutually Exclusive Couple

If you and your spouse are constantly bickering over who is “right” in your divorce, you may be destined for ongoing conflict. Those who believe because they are right, their spouse must be wrong can expect a lengthy and conflict-heavy divorce. These couples aren’t amenable to the idea that there might be a win-win situation, an oversight that can cost you dearly. In reality, a good attorney can help you achieve as close to a win-win outcome as possible. This might involve back and forth negotiations between your attorneys or a well-executed court case. Such a result would require skilled legal guidance, so the more experienced your attorney, the better.

The Deserters

Some couples simply want to be over and done with the marriage and don’t care what they lose in the process. Some are desperate for a fresh start. Others want to hurry the divorce so they can get remarried. In any case, a hasty divorce isn’t necessarily a clean divorce. Often, these types of couples end up back in court for modifications down the road. Even if you want it to be over and done with, make sure you are running your decisions by an experienced New Jersey divorce attorney. Every divorcing couple can make costly mistakes without legal guidance. An attorney can ensure your decisions—no matter how hurried—are legally sound and will protect your interests.