How to Spot and Stop a Divorce Saboteur

What was once a partnership is now two sets of competing interests. You are both looking out for what’s best for you, or so you should hope. When one spouse loses reason, however, and becomes a divorce saboteur, the outcome can be disastrous for both. Unfortunately, divorce can easily cause people to lose sight of the future and focus solely on revenge in the present. To spot and stop a divorce saboteur, keep these tips in mind.

Stay Grounded

Divorce saboteurs often resort to threats to control (and cajole) the other spouse. They may threaten to commit a crime, so they will go to jail and won’t be able to pay spousal support (i.e. alimony). Or they may call CPS on their spouse in an attempt to win custody. Both of these tactics are self-sabotaging and dangerous. But even in the face of such threats, it’s important to stay grounded and recognize what is really going on. Don’t feed into your spouse’s efforts. It’s much better—and even more affordable at times—to hire an attorney who can call your spouse’s bluffs and take swift and appropriate action should he or she follow through on a threat.

Trust in the System

Spouses with a propensity toward sabotage try hard to convince their spouses the system is corrupt and will favor the spouse with more money and power. This is a major red flag. In reality, the “system,” meaning the family law courts that handle divorces and the rules that govern them, has checks and balances. And if you fear being taken advantage of or losing everything when your spouse sets in motion the wheels of destruction, reach out to an attorney who can talk you through it. Learning about your rights and protections can give you the confidence you stand your ground.

Hold Your Spouse Accountable

A divorce saboteur will frequently be financially destructive, sacrificing life savings, investments, and even their career to make their spouse’s life miserable. Don’t get lost in the fray. If held accountable, a spouse who does things like intentionally dissipating assets or losing a job can face financial sanctions in court. Divorce saboteurs often don’t consider the long-term consequences of their threats and actions until it’s too late. Some get away with such measures because it takes a keen legal eye to spot and uncover dirty tactics and prove them in court. But unless you hold your spouse accountable, he or she may continue down the road of self-destruction with the intent of taking you down, too.

Take the High Ground

A divorce saboteur has to live with the ramifications of his or her actions for years to come. But you shouldn’t have to. Whether your spouse depleted or hid assets, reported you for child abuse, or worse, a New Jersey divorce attorney with broad experience handling family law disputes can help you spot and stop these strategies before it’s too late.

Do you need help fighting for your rights in your divorce? If so, Williams Law Group, LLC can help. Our skilled divorce attorneys can help you prepare for the journey ahead by getting you the outcome you deserve. Located in Short Hills, New Jersey, Williams Law Group, LLC provides compassionate and dedicated legal services to Union, Bergen, Essex, Hudson, Morris, Monmouth, and Middlesex counties, and the surrounding areas. Our knowledgeable attorneys handle divorce and family law, child custody, and child abuse/neglect cases. Call our office at (908) 738-8366, email us at, or contact us through our confidential online form to schedule a consultation and ultimately get you connected with an experienced New Jersey divorce and child custody attorney.

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